Jaymz Bee & The Royal Jelly Orchestra: A Christmas Cocktail

Voldar is BACK!!!


'Bout Damn Time, Too! I know, I know… Christmas is almost here and we're gettin' off to a late start.

The fact of the matter is that the current economic misfortunes effecting much of the planet Earth have begun to take their toll on Mars as well. As our few-in-number and highly secretive Earth-Based Trading Partners have experienced financial downturns, we've suffered right along with you. As a result, my schedule has become rather erratic to the point at which it is difficult to plan ahead and/or work around.

Now that I'm here, though, I'll try to spruce up the season with a few choice holiday offerings from Traitor Vic's expansive collection.

Speaking of whom, Vic apparently took my late arrival as a sign that I had decided not to show up this year and, so, was caught completely off guard by my appearance. I've taken it easy on him this year and locked him into the shed in the back yard instead of the closet that I usually put him in. He should be relatively comfortable there for the time being. I'll allow him to come out on Christmas Eve, of course, so that he can run to the store to get me some refreshments to enjoy as we await a visit from Santa Claus. In the meantime… I plan to share some of the selections he has that are on Compact Disc, as opposed to the time consuming Vinyl Rips that he limits his own offerings to.

You are welcome to enjoy this holiday collection, from 1996, by Jaymz Bee & The Royal Jelly Orchestra. Jaymz is a musician, writer and radio personality from Canada. Along with The Royal Jelly Orchestra, and another combo called The Deep Lounge Coalition, he has released several collections of modern day pop tunes performed in an Easy Jazz, Lounge Style. He's also recognized as a bit of a Cocktail/Lounge Authority, having written "Cocktail Parties for Dummies" in 1997.

Jaymz Bee & The Royal Jelly Orchestra: A Christmas Cocktail

1. Jingle Bells
2. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
3. It's Christmas Time (Oh Yeah)
4. Let it Snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow!
5. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
6. White Christmas
7. Winter Wonderland
8. The Christmas Song
9. Christmas Cocktail
10. Sleigh Ride
11. Space Age Santa
12. Carol of the Bells
13. The Little Drummer Boy

The Rite of Exorcism

I've thought about posting this record at Halloween several times over the last few years, but my good sense has always won out and kept me from doing so.

It's not like it's HORRIBLE or anything. Okay. Maybe it is. But it has a Really Great Cover and at least one pretty cool song on it.

Other than that, it is a mostly "spoken word" or "audio drama" presentation that purports to be a "Simply and Faithfully Presented" reenactment of what might have gone on during the act of evicting demons or other spiritual entities from a person at some unspecified point in the past (as the current Rite, updated most recently in 1999 I believe, calls for the presence of two priests).

This record lists no Artist or Group as being responsible for it's creation. I decided to ascribe it to Rev. Patrick J. Berkery, Ph.D. because:
A - It is he who came up with the original concept and who followed up by doing the Theological and Liturgical Research that it required and…
B - He also recorded at least one other record, 1969's "Prayers for a Noonday Church" (which can be found over at Dr. Schluss' Garage of Psychedelic Obscurities).

It's not horribly scary (although it does contain some pretty weird squeals and shrieks), but it is an interesting artifact.

This record has also been shared at least one other time (in two parts, as individual files for Side A and Side B) at WFMU's Beware of the Blog, where you can read a rather lengthy discussion of it's qualities (and/or lack thereof) if you'd like.

It is presented here in all six (6) individual tracks at 320kbps.

The Rite of Exorcism

1. Day of Wrath
2. THE STORY (Part I)
3. The Lord's Prayer
4. THE STORY (Part I)
5. THE STORY (Part II)
6. Ron Aimee Fugue

Billy Boyd: Twangy Guitars

There's no such person as Billy Boyd. Okay. There is, of course. But the guy that played a Hobbit in The Lord of the Rings movies didn't record this record in 1960.

This Billy Boyd was actually Jerry Cole.

Cole played with The Champs. He also worked with just about every important musician in America between 1959 and 1991. Find his story (along with a list of albums he released under different names) here: Jerry Cole @ The Rockabilly Hall of Fame.

Billy Boyd: Twangy Guitars

1. Shuffle Boogie
2. Night Rock
3. When the Lights are Low
4. Jivin' at The Savoy
5. Stompin' at the Crossroads
6. Diggin' the Blues
7. Mambo Boogie
8. South Hampton
9. Bolero Boogie
10. Duck Walk
11. Oop Shank
12. Drifting

The Gaylords: Let's Have a Pizza Party

Back in the 60s and 70s, when you went to an Italian Restaurant in the US, chances are good that you heard Italian Music being pumped through the sound system. Mandolin and Accordian would serenade you as you enjoyed your Spaghetti and sipped your Chianti.

Nowadays, most of the better Italian restaurants with which I'm familiar have no music playing (canned or otherwise) and the popular chains are usually brightly lit, loud, and feature Soft Rock or New Age-ish background music. Thank God for Unlimited Salad and Breadsticks!

This record reminds me of the stuff they played back in the old days. The Gaylords were Ronald L. Fredianelli, Bonaldo Bonaldi and Don Rea (with Bill Christ replacing Fredianelli when the latter did a stint in the US Army). Fredianelli later took the stage name Ronnie Gaylord and Bonaldi became Burt Holiday.

Most of their records were of Italian folk melodies translated to and sung in English, thereby introducing them to a wide American audience. This one, though, consists of Italian Songs sung in Italian and played in the old country Italian style.

Find more info on The Gaylords here:

http://www.thegaylords.com/index.php

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Gaylords_%28American_vocal_group%29

http://home.earthlink.net/~v1tiger/gaylords.html

The Gaylords: Let's Have a Pizza Party

1. Ah Marie
2. Neapolitan Nights
3. Quando Mi Bacio Teresa
4. Ti Voglio Tanto Bene
5. Sicilian Tarantella
6. La Romanina
7. Bionda Biondina
8. Scrivimi
9. Sbarazzina
10. Panzy
11. Carmela
12. Non Ti Scordar Di Me (Say You Will Not Forget)

Sammy Laului Orchestra: Hawaiian Wedding Song

Like a Budget Hawaiian Vacation

As we complete our tour around the mighty Pacific Ocean, we approach the shore of Waikiki only to discover a record on Diplomat Records! Diplomat, one of several labels of Synthetic Plastics (of Newark, NJ), was the Budget Record Label to End All Budget Record Labels. My record doesn't even list an artist name on the sleeve or the label. Luckily, the record was released with several different variations on the sleeve over the years and some of them identified the music as being performed by the Sammy Laului Orchestra: a group with such a wide range of different sounds that it's almost difficult to believe the entire record is by the same combo.

It's a nice record, though, and should help you to relax at the end of a long, hard day. If you find yourself thinking that the song "Island's Goodbye" sounds an awful lot like "Now Is the Hour", you're correct. You are also correct if you find yourself thinking that much of this album sounds remarkably (EXACTLY!) like the album "Hawaiian Enchantment", by Luke Leilani, on Spin-O-Rama Records or, perhaps "Hawaiian Enchantment", by The Hawaiian Islanders, on Wyncote.

Sammy Laului Orchestra: Hawaiian Wedding Song

1. Hawaiian Wedding Song
2. Dreams of Hawaii
3. Waikiki Moods
4. White Sands
5. Girl of the Island
6. Hawaiian Skies
   
7. Island's Goodbye
8. Chanting Waves
9. Isle of Dreams
10. Hula Moola
    

Various Artists: Songs of Guam

This one is Oddly Charming…

Well, okay… Mostly it's just odd.

Upon happening upon this record I thought I had found a collection of, perhaps, Traditional Guamanian Folk Songs or Historical Recordings of The Chamorro People. What I had actually found is a bunch of songs by an American woman who had lived in Guam for a couple of years that were recorded in Hawaii, apparently by Hawaiian recording artists.

From the liner notes:

"With the exception of four Guamanian folk songs… this KONA RECORDS Album reflects the musical impressions of Mrs. D.S. (Jean) Lennox. She has completed a labor of love for the Island she called home for a little while.

"Her affection for Guam and it's people is rewardingly evident in each of her ten original compositions. For a "Statesider", who lived just two years on the Island of Guam, our composer has created a truly remarkable musical montage."

The native language of the Island of Guam (and all of The Marinara Islands) is a Malayo-Polynesian language called Chamorro. The Chamorro language was heavily modified during Guam's occupation and colonization by Spain from 1668 to 1898 and now contains many words and phrases of Spanish origin. Guam was captured by the US in a bloodless landing during the Spanish-American War. Since then, Guam's official languages have been Chamorro and English and, again, the Chamorro language has incorporated many English words. It makes for a bit of a strange mix.

Something tells me that Mrs. D.S. (Jean) Lennox had no idea, while writing these songs, that they would ever end up being recorded for commercial release. They're nice enough, and charming in their own way, but they sound more like songs intended to be sung by school children than professionally created pop pieces. The quality of the recording is poor and the singers involved, while competent, sound uninspired and disinterested. That being said, since our recent visit to Tahiti I figured I'd continue the Pacific Cruise and steer the Good Ship Tuna Melt on over to Guam for a visit.

Various Artists: Songs of Guam

1. Guam is Good
   
2. The Old Spanish Bridge
   
3. Song of Guam
   
4. The Wizard Lizard
   
5. The Island of Cocos
   
6. Statesider's Song
   
7. Guamanian Medley -
   Panguengue / Toma Na Plangpang Tres / Gumupo Si Paluma / Nobia Cahula
   
8. The Ladrones Latte Stones
   
9. It's Always Manana on Guam
   
10. Honeymoon Island
    
11. Hafa Adai
    

Piiraa É: Autrefois

There's a lot more that I don't know about this than there is that I do.

It comes from French Polynesia and, so, all of the information provided on it's packaging is done so in a mish-mash of different languages that I don't understand. Even the name of the group is spelled in two different ways on the cover.

Once the music starts, though, I understand all that I need to.

The warmth of the sun… The coolness of the Sea Breeze… The gentle rhythm of the waves lapping at the shore… The tinkle of ice as it swirls in the exotic concoction that I hold in my hand… It all takes me to long ago and far away Tahiti.

Chanté par le groupe de Piiraa É: Autrefois

1. Aue Te Mauiui
2. Pae Minuti
3. Fautaua
4. Tapau Féi
5. Maraamu
6. Te Ua´a Rii Pitate
7. Po Iti Ava´e
8. Enere
9. Faariri
10. Piiraa É
11. Hoi Hoi Rii Mai Na Ra

Özel Türkbas: How to Make Your Husband a Sultan

Shake It, Baby! Shake It!

Özel Türkbas was a huge talent and a huge star! After starting out as a child star (at the age of seven), in her native Turkey, she went on to play starring roles in fourteen Turkish movies. She was brought to the US by Italian director Franco Zeffirelli, in 1959, in order to appear in the role of La Oriental in his production of Opera Thais.

This is the first of five Belly Dance records she released. She also wrote and published two Belly Dancing books and a Turkish Cookbook.

As Belly Dancing became a huge fad in the United States through the 60s and 70s, Özel was extremely influential in it's promotion. As a Turk, she wore the traditional Turkish Belly Dancer costume (generally regarded to be considerably "sexier" than some other outfits, but probably the best known type in the rest of the world), but she was always careful to emphasize the beauty and discipline of the dance as opposed to it's more sensual aspects.

Well… Except for the title of this record, I suppose.

Özel Türkbas: How to Make Your Husband a Sultan

1. Özel's Dance Music
2. Hoplada
3. Tín Tín
4. Tokat
5. Kandirali Çíftetellí
6. Taksímler
7. Anadolu
8. Fasulya

Note: Each of Özel's albums included at least one selection that was nearly the length of an entire side. If you are going to use this record as a Belly Dancing beginner, let me advise that you might want to skip to the second track as the first is about 14 minutes long and may result in Gut Bustage.

Lenny Dee: Most Requested!

Most Dee-manded!

Of all the Pop Organists of the Easy Listening / Space Age Pop era, Lenny Dee is my favorite. While others played with much technical savvy and brilliant arrangements, Lenny performed with a flair, rhythm and humor all his own.

This is a great record. It includes two pieces by Henry Mancini (always a plus!) and handful of others that I absolutely love. All are played with the patented "Lenny Dee Bounce" and plenty of Pizazz!

Lenny Dee: Most Requested!

1. Hello, Dolly!
2. Canadian Sunset
3. The Girl from Ipanema (Garota De Ipanema)
4. Baby Elephant Walk
5. Bluesette
6. Moonlight Cocktail
7. Java
8. Summertime in Venice
9. Cafe Oriental
10. On Green Dolphin Street
11. The Pink Panther
12. Honky Tonk Train Blues