John Andrews Tartaglia: Tartaglian Theorem

It's, Like, Science or Something!

"The Tartaglian Theorem is, basically, an application of exciting new orchestral arrangements to high-quality, contemporary compositions in a manner that finds the middle ground between the inventiveness of the arranger and the inspiration of the composer. The formula is sound!"

So say the notes on the rear of the jacket in which this record was packaged. Some of you are probably already familiar with this theory from listening to some of the Now Sound compilations on which some of the tracks from this album have been included (such as The Sound Gallery Vol. 2, Ultra-Lounge - On the Rocks I & II, and Look Into the Flower [Trip on Psychedelic Grooves with Blue Note]). It's a very groovy record!

John Andrews Tartaglia: Tartaglian Theorem

1. Poto Flavus
2. Wichita Lineman
3. I Am the Walrus
4. I'm Gonna Make You Love Me
5. Light My Fire
6. Abraham, Martin & John
7. America
8. Collage: Like to Get to Know You / Give a Damn
9. Sleep

I was unable to find much info about John Andrews Tartaglia online. This is from the aforementioned album jacket: "West-Coast born and raised, Tartaglia began his professional career in the Los Angeles area as John Andrews, with the "Tartaglia" dropped on the advise of early associates as "too hard to remember." His past efforts include, among other things, music for many of the hits of the Buckinghams, Tiny Tim, John Stewart and Al Martino. Here Capitol presents him in his first feature album as Tartaglia – just plain "John Andrews" being considered too hard to remember!"

And "POOF!" He Was Gone...

As quickly and mysteriously as he had arrived, Voldar has left the planet. He muttered something about going to talk to a Venusian about a horse and simply walked out. Kinda sad, in a way, as he helped make this year's holiday season so special. And yet... Something tells me we may not have seen the last of him...

Al Goodman & His Orchestra: A Christmas Symphony

Sneakin' on in Right Under the Wire!


I gotta tell ya, Silly Earthlings. I've learned a great deal during my time here this Holiday Season. I've learned that one can't spend one's entire life consumed with thoughts and concerns only of and for oneself. That one needs to think of others in order to be whole.

And that 9 Lives Cat Food actually Tastes Pretty Good. Okay. I kinda learned that one by mistake.

And that it is better to Give than to Receive.

It Feels So Good to Give, in fact, that I Simply Cannot Stop Myself! I promise, though, that this is the last post before Christmas Day.

This is a record by Al Goodman and His Orchestra, unless you believe the back of the jacket, in which case it's an album by Al Goodman and His All String Symphoneers. Guess which name I prefer. Sadly, the label on the record simply says "Al Goodman Plays A Christmas Symphony." Confusing, eh?

Luckily for us, the music on this album is quite lovely. Not too heavy handed, not too light and/or silly, not too artsy fartsy... I'd say it's just perfect. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

Al Goodman & His Orchestra: A Christmas Symphony

1. O Come All Ye Faithful
2. Hark! The Herald Angels Sing
3. White Christmas
4. God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen
5. O Little Town of Bethlehem
6. Joy to the World
7. Deck the Halls with Boughs of Holly
8. The First Noel
9. Good King Wenceslas
10. Oh Holy Night
11. We Three Kings of Orient Are
12. Silent Night

Lawrence Welk and His Champagne Music: Jingle Bells

Turn On the Christmas Bubble Machine!

The Tuna Melt celebrates the long awaited Return of Lawrence Welk with his 1957 Christmas Masterpiece: "Jingle Bells". This is a magnificent piece of wax featuring instrumental and vocal arrangements of a variety of traditional favorites as well as a couple of songs that were original to this album.

If you haven't noticed... I listen to A LOT of Christmas Music (as well as a fair bit of Hanukkah Music and a few Kwanzaa Tunes) and this is, currently, one of my favorite Christmas records.

Lawrence Welk and His Champagne Music: Jingle Bells

1. Jingle Bells
2. Let's Have an Old Fashioned Christmas
3. The Christmas Song
4. Chrirtmas Carols
5. Santa Claus Is Here Again
6. Sleigh Ride
7. The Christmas Tree Waltz
8. Santa from Santa Fe
9. Silver Bells
10. Ring Those Christmas Bells
11. Merry Christmas from Our House to Your House

Various Artists: Let's Go go Christmas

Christmas Time is Go-Going!

This is kinda like a repost except for the fact that I've never posted it before. Our buddy BongoLong had it up last year over at his Christmas Music Blog: BongoBells. I was contacted by someone (after the Bongo's link died) who was looking for a copy of it and knew that I had one, so I've now ripped my own copy. I believe that the original post has been replaced over at The BongoBells Archives but you can just get it here if you'd like. That way, when you go to BongoBells you can avail yourself of the other diverse goodies that abound in that Magical Holiday Wonderland! Each post there is like a little Sugar-plum.

This is a Go-go Christmas celebration! Go-go (for those of you who are not familiar) is a Funk Variant native to Metropolitan Washington, DC, and environs. It is extremely percussive (almost always using heavy thumping bass, conga drums, timbale and cowbells) and is characterized by it's throbbing beat and a "call and response" interaction between performers and their audience during live performance. This tape, released in 1991, exhibits some of the Hip-Hop influences (most notably the abundance of "Shout Outs" during studio recordings) that began to affect the genre in the late 80s. The Wikipedia entry on Go-go is quite detailed and comprehensive and can be found here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Go-go.

Various Artists: Let's Go go Christmas

1. This Christmas - The Go go Family
2. Up on the Housetop - Hot-Cold Sweat
3. Jingle Bells - Funk Innovators
4. Merry Christmas Baby - Chuck Brown & The Soul Searchers
5. Happy Holidays to You - Junk Yard Band
6. Santa Claus Is Coming to Town - Pleasure
7. The Little Drummer Boy - Double Agent Rock
8. The Christmas Song - The Christmas Song

The Hampton String Quartet: "What if Mozart Wrote 'Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas'" / Don Raleigh & His Orchestra: Christmas at Home

Alright. Let's Remain Serious (for a few minutes anyway…)

Got two Holiday Gifts for you all this time.

The first of the two is nearly as "Serious" as the Hollywood Bowl Orchestra record. It's by The Hampton String Quartet, who play Pop and Rock tunes in a stuffy, high-toned Chamber Music style. It can be pretty funny at times (their version of "Sympathy for the Devil" is quite good) and is always entertaining. This 1986 album was their debut.

NOTE: This record is BACK IN PRINT! YAY! The link below now leads to
The Hampton String Quartet's Website, where it can be purchased on CD.

The Hampton String Quartet: "What if Mozart Wrote 'Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas'"

1. White Christmas
2. The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire)
3. Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas
4. The Little Drummer Boy
5. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
6. We Need a Little Christmas
7. Winter Wonderland
8. Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow
9. Frosty the Snowman
10. Do You Hear What I Hear?

And then we can relax a bit with this one. It's got some arty stuff on it, but it also includes a good bit of good lounge style easy listening and a fair number of organ instrumentals. In other words... It's all mixed up.

Don Raleigh & His Orchestra: Christmas at Home

1. White Christmas
2. Winter Wonderland
3. I'll Be Home for Christmas
4. One Little Candle
5. Jingle Bells
6. The Night Before Christmas
7. We Three Kings of Orient Are
8. Jingle Bells
9. It Came Upon a Midnight Clear
10. Joy to the World
11. Hark! The Herald Angels Sing
12. Good King Wenceslas
13. We Three Kings of Orient Are
14. Jingle Bells
    

Also... This one is Monophonic, so it will only use half as much of your iPod's battery power as the Ali Lohan Christmas CD.

Enjoy!

Ferrante & Teicher: Snowbound / Various Artists: Yulesville!

Double the Holiday Excitement!!!

Hey! Looka Me! I've got TWO THINGS on my DESKTOP!!! They Point Upward! They're Rounded! This is Cool!!!

Two is Always Better Than One!!! Right!?! Like… Two Dollars is Twice as Good as One Dollar. And Two Broken Knees is… Wait… Okay. But… DOUBLE INDEMNITY means… You Got Your Ass Kicked TWICE!?!

This isn't going quite as well as I'd planned.

I say… Who Cares! We can MAKE TWO BETTER THAN ONE here at the ol' Tuna Melt!

For instance…

I'm going to post this record even though it has been posted by others before! This is a rip at 320kbps from a pretty good piece of wax. And it's a record by one of my favorite Piano Duos, Ferrante & Teicher!

Some may argue that it's not really a Christmas Record, but a Winter Record. They are allowed to do so and, while I will not agree with them, I will not disagree with them.

Here it is!

Ferrante & Teicher: Snowbound

1. Snowbound
2. Let it Snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow!
3. Sleighride
4. Moonlight in Vermont
5. Skaters Waltz
6. Jingle Bells
7. I've Got My Love to Keep Me Warm
8. Winter Wonderland
9. Brazilian Sleigh Bells
10. Moonlight Serenade
11. June in January
12. Happy Sleigh Ride

Next up is a Promotional Disc from Warner Brother's from 1987. This was a point at which the record industry was simply grasping at whatever might possibly help it to keep making the billions of dollars it needed to keep making in order to continue being… The Record Industry? Yep. That was it.

It contains a few good songs (all of which have since been released on CD) and a few HORRIBLE songs (which will, hopefully, NEVER be released on CD) and several Spoken Word Holiday Messages from The Stars of 1987. You know… People like Ice-T, Madonna, Joey Ramone, George Harrison and Brian Wilson. And Really Cool People like 54.40, Sherrick and Siedah Garrett (whoever the hell they are/were?).

It has some cool stuff on it, though, and may come in handy to those of you who create Holiday Mixes.

Various Artists: Yulesville! Part 1

1. Musical Intro (Jingle Bells) - Uncredited Artist
2. Yulesville - Edd 'Kookie' Byrnes
3. Happy Christmas Message - George Harrison
4. Hot Club of Christ - Aztec Camera
5. Happy Holidays Message - Depeche Mode
6. Happy Holidays Message w/ Cell Phone Interuption - Depeche Mode
7. Silent Night / Erasure Christmas - Erasure
8. Have a Safe and Happy New Year - 54.40
9. The Bass Player Sings - 54.40
10. Christmastime - 54.40
11. My Night Before Christmas - Julie Brown
12. We Three Kings - Book of Love
13. Happy Holidays Message - Joey Ramone
14. Merry Christmas (I Don't Want to Fight Tonight) - The Ramones
15. Merry Christmas Message - Brian Wilson
16. Merry Christmas Message - Brian Wilson
17. 2000 Miles - The Pretenders
18. Happy Holidays Ho Ho Ho - Santa Claus

Various Artists: Yulesville! Part 2

1. Musical Interlude (We Wish You a Merry Christmas) - Uncredited Artist
2. Don't Drive Drunk!!! - Madonna
3. The Real Meaning of Christmas - The Winans
4. Christmas Message - Siedah Garrett
5. Holiday Greeting - The Bee Gees
6. Merry Christmas - The Force M.D.'s
7. I'm Gettin' Nothin' for Christmas - The Force M.D.'s
8. Holiday Rap - Ice T
9. Christmas Message - Sherrick
10. What I Want (for Christmas) - The New Monkees
11. Happy Holidee - Christine McVie
12. Christmas Greeting - Christine McVie
13. Holiday Message - Randy Travis
14. White Christmas Always Makes Me Blue - Randy Travis
15. Merry Christmas from Los Lobos - Cesar Rosas & Steve Berlin
16. Los Lobos Merry Christmas Intro - Cesar Rosas & Steve Berlin
17. The Christmas Song - Los Lobos
18. Another Lonely Christmas - Prince

Susie & Allie (Tammy Faye Bakker): Christmas with Susie & Allie

Finally! Christmas Characters That Even I, Voldar, Can Care About!

'Bout time, too. You silly humans' obsession with Santa Claus can get right up my Superior Martian... Oh, nevermind.

I understand that these two were members of some sort of highly selective organization, called the PTL, that was hugely influential about 20 years ago. Owned and operated by a Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker, the PTL inhabited an entire city known as Heritage, USA. Jim used this city as his headquarters in his fight against all of the evils of the world such as lying, stealing and sexual perversion. Tammy Faye, on the other hand, used it as a place to record albums on which she sang in the voices of two weird little puppets: Susie (the Pig Girl) and Allie (The Alligator).

This is their (her) Christmas Album from 1984 and it's as cute as it can be.

Susie & Allie (Tammy Faye Bakker): Christmas with Susie & Allie

1. Frosty the Snowman
2. White Christmas
3. Winter Wonderland
4. O Christmas Tree
5. We Wish You a Merry Christmas
6. Jingle Bells
7. Away in the Manger
8. The Christmas Story
9. Joy to the World