John Andrews Tartaglia: Tartaglian Theorem

It's, Like, Science or Something!

"The Tartaglian Theorem is, basically, an application of exciting new orchestral arrangements to high-quality, contemporary compositions in a manner that finds the middle ground between the inventiveness of the arranger and the inspiration of the composer. The formula is sound!"

So say the notes on the rear of the jacket in which this record was packaged. Some of you are probably already familiar with this theory from listening to some of the Now Sound compilations on which some of the tracks from this album have been included (such as The Sound Gallery Vol. 2, Ultra-Lounge - On the Rocks I & II, and Look Into the Flower [Trip on Psychedelic Grooves with Blue Note]). It's a very groovy record!

John Andrews Tartaglia: Tartaglian Theorem

1. Poto Flavus
2. Wichita Lineman
3. I Am the Walrus
4. I'm Gonna Make You Love Me
5. Light My Fire
6. Abraham, Martin & John
7. America
8. Collage: Like to Get to Know You / Give a Damn
9. Sleep

I was unable to find much info about John Andrews Tartaglia online. This is from the aforementioned album jacket: "West-Coast born and raised, Tartaglia began his professional career in the Los Angeles area as John Andrews, with the "Tartaglia" dropped on the advise of early associates as "too hard to remember." His past efforts include, among other things, music for many of the hits of the Buckinghams, Tiny Tim, John Stewart and Al Martino. Here Capitol presents him in his first feature album as Tartaglia – just plain "John Andrews" being considered too hard to remember!"

And "POOF!" He Was Gone...

As quickly and mysteriously as he had arrived, Voldar has left the planet. He muttered something about going to talk to a Venusian about a horse and simply walked out. Kinda sad, in a way, as he helped make this year's holiday season so special. And yet... Something tells me we may not have seen the last of him...

Al Goodman & His Orchestra: A Christmas Symphony

Sneakin' on in Right Under the Wire!


I gotta tell ya, Silly Earthlings. I've learned a great deal during my time here this Holiday Season. I've learned that one can't spend one's entire life consumed with thoughts and concerns only of and for oneself. That one needs to think of others in order to be whole.

And that 9 Lives Cat Food actually Tastes Pretty Good. Okay. I kinda learned that one by mistake.

And that it is better to Give than to Receive.

It Feels So Good to Give, in fact, that I Simply Cannot Stop Myself! I promise, though, that this is the last post before Christmas Day.

This is a record by Al Goodman and His Orchestra, unless you believe the back of the jacket, in which case it's an album by Al Goodman and His All String Symphoneers. Guess which name I prefer. Sadly, the label on the record simply says "Al Goodman Plays A Christmas Symphony." Confusing, eh?

Luckily for us, the music on this album is quite lovely. Not too heavy handed, not too light and/or silly, not too artsy fartsy... I'd say it's just perfect. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

Al Goodman & His Orchestra: A Christmas Symphony

1. O Come All Ye Faithful
2. Hark! The Herald Angels Sing
3. White Christmas
4. God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen
5. O Little Town of Bethlehem
6. Joy to the World
7. Deck the Halls with Boughs of Holly
8. The First Noel
9. Good King Wenceslas
10. Oh Holy Night
11. We Three Kings of Orient Are
12. Silent Night

Lawrence Welk and His Champagne Music: Jingle Bells

Turn On the Christmas Bubble Machine!

The Tuna Melt celebrates the long awaited Return of Lawrence Welk with his 1957 Christmas Masterpiece: "Jingle Bells". This is a magnificent piece of wax featuring instrumental and vocal arrangements of a variety of traditional favorites as well as a couple of songs that were original to this album.

If you haven't noticed... I listen to A LOT of Christmas Music (as well as a fair bit of Hanukkah Music and a few Kwanzaa Tunes) and this is, currently, one of my favorite Christmas records.

Lawrence Welk and His Champagne Music: Jingle Bells

1. Jingle Bells
2. Let's Have an Old Fashioned Christmas
3. The Christmas Song
4. Chrirtmas Carols
5. Santa Claus Is Here Again
6. Sleigh Ride
7. The Christmas Tree Waltz
8. Santa from Santa Fe
9. Silver Bells
10. Ring Those Christmas Bells
11. Merry Christmas from Our House to Your House

Various Artists: Let's Go go Christmas

Christmas Time is Go-Going!

This is kinda like a repost except for the fact that I've never posted it before. Our buddy BongoLong had it up last year over at his Christmas Music Blog: BongoBells. I was contacted by someone (after the Bongo's link died) who was looking for a copy of it and knew that I had one, so I've now ripped my own copy. I believe that the original post has been replaced over at The BongoBells Archives but you can just get it here if you'd like. That way, when you go to BongoBells you can avail yourself of the other diverse goodies that abound in that Magical Holiday Wonderland! Each post there is like a little Sugar-plum.

This is a Go-go Christmas celebration! Go-go (for those of you who are not familiar) is a Funk Variant native to Metropolitan Washington, DC, and environs. It is extremely percussive (almost always using heavy thumping bass, conga drums, timbale and cowbells) and is characterized by it's throbbing beat and a "call and response" interaction between performers and their audience during live performance. This tape, released in 1991, exhibits some of the Hip-Hop influences (most notably the abundance of "Shout Outs" during studio recordings) that began to affect the genre in the late 80s. The Wikipedia entry on Go-go is quite detailed and comprehensive and can be found here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Go-go.

Various Artists: Let's Go go Christmas

1. This Christmas - The Go go Family
2. Up on the Housetop - Hot-Cold Sweat
3. Jingle Bells - Funk Innovators
4. Merry Christmas Baby - Chuck Brown & The Soul Searchers
5. Happy Holidays to You - Junk Yard Band
6. Santa Claus Is Coming to Town - Pleasure
7. The Little Drummer Boy - Double Agent Rock
8. The Christmas Song - The Christmas Song

The Hampton String Quartet: "What if Mozart Wrote 'Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas'" / Don Raleigh & His Orchestra: Christmas at Home

Alright. Let's Remain Serious (for a few minutes anyway…)

Got two Holiday Gifts for you all this time.

The first of the two is nearly as "Serious" as the Hollywood Bowl Orchestra record. It's by The Hampton String Quartet, who play Pop and Rock tunes in a stuffy, high-toned Chamber Music style. It can be pretty funny at times (their version of "Sympathy for the Devil" is quite good) and is always entertaining. This 1986 album was their debut.

NOTE: This record is BACK IN PRINT! YAY! The link below now leads to
The Hampton String Quartet's Website, where it can be purchased on CD.

The Hampton String Quartet: "What if Mozart Wrote 'Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas'"

1. White Christmas
2. The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire)
3. Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas
4. The Little Drummer Boy
5. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
6. We Need a Little Christmas
7. Winter Wonderland
8. Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow
9. Frosty the Snowman
10. Do You Hear What I Hear?

And then we can relax a bit with this one. It's got some arty stuff on it, but it also includes a good bit of good lounge style easy listening and a fair number of organ instrumentals. In other words... It's all mixed up.

Don Raleigh & His Orchestra: Christmas at Home

1. White Christmas
2. Winter Wonderland
3. I'll Be Home for Christmas
4. One Little Candle
5. Jingle Bells
6. The Night Before Christmas
7. We Three Kings of Orient Are
8. Jingle Bells
9. It Came Upon a Midnight Clear
10. Joy to the World
11. Hark! The Herald Angels Sing
12. Good King Wenceslas
13. We Three Kings of Orient Are
14. Jingle Bells
    

Also... This one is Monophonic, so it will only use half as much of your iPod's battery power as the Ali Lohan Christmas CD.

Enjoy!

Ferrante & Teicher: Snowbound / Various Artists: Yulesville!

Double the Holiday Excitement!!!

Hey! Looka Me! I've got TWO THINGS on my DESKTOP!!! They Point Upward! They're Rounded! This is Cool!!!

Two is Always Better Than One!!! Right!?! Like… Two Dollars is Twice as Good as One Dollar. And Two Broken Knees is… Wait… Okay. But… DOUBLE INDEMNITY means… You Got Your Ass Kicked TWICE!?!

This isn't going quite as well as I'd planned.

I say… Who Cares! We can MAKE TWO BETTER THAN ONE here at the ol' Tuna Melt!

For instance…

I'm going to post this record even though it has been posted by others before! This is a rip at 320kbps from a pretty good piece of wax. And it's a record by one of my favorite Piano Duos, Ferrante & Teicher!

Some may argue that it's not really a Christmas Record, but a Winter Record. They are allowed to do so and, while I will not agree with them, I will not disagree with them.

Here it is!

Ferrante & Teicher: Snowbound

1. Snowbound
2. Let it Snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow!
3. Sleighride
4. Moonlight in Vermont
5. Skaters Waltz
6. Jingle Bells
7. I've Got My Love to Keep Me Warm
8. Winter Wonderland
9. Brazilian Sleigh Bells
10. Moonlight Serenade
11. June in January
12. Happy Sleigh Ride

Next up is a Promotional Disc from Warner Brother's from 1987. This was a point at which the record industry was simply grasping at whatever might possibly help it to keep making the billions of dollars it needed to keep making in order to continue being… The Record Industry? Yep. That was it.

It contains a few good songs (all of which have since been released on CD) and a few HORRIBLE songs (which will, hopefully, NEVER be released on CD) and several Spoken Word Holiday Messages from The Stars of 1987. You know… People like Ice-T, Madonna, Joey Ramone, George Harrison and Brian Wilson. And Really Cool People like 54.40, Sherrick and Siedah Garrett (whoever the hell they are/were?).

It has some cool stuff on it, though, and may come in handy to those of you who create Holiday Mixes.

Various Artists: Yulesville! Part 1

1. Musical Intro (Jingle Bells) - Uncredited Artist
2. Yulesville - Edd 'Kookie' Byrnes
3. Happy Christmas Message - George Harrison
4. Hot Club of Christ - Aztec Camera
5. Happy Holidays Message - Depeche Mode
6. Happy Holidays Message w/ Cell Phone Interuption - Depeche Mode
7. Silent Night / Erasure Christmas - Erasure
8. Have a Safe and Happy New Year - 54.40
9. The Bass Player Sings - 54.40
10. Christmastime - 54.40
11. My Night Before Christmas - Julie Brown
12. We Three Kings - Book of Love
13. Happy Holidays Message - Joey Ramone
14. Merry Christmas (I Don't Want to Fight Tonight) - The Ramones
15. Merry Christmas Message - Brian Wilson
16. Merry Christmas Message - Brian Wilson
17. 2000 Miles - The Pretenders
18. Happy Holidays Ho Ho Ho - Santa Claus

Various Artists: Yulesville! Part 2

1. Musical Interlude (We Wish You a Merry Christmas) - Uncredited Artist
2. Don't Drive Drunk!!! - Madonna
3. The Real Meaning of Christmas - The Winans
4. Christmas Message - Siedah Garrett
5. Holiday Greeting - The Bee Gees
6. Merry Christmas - The Force M.D.'s
7. I'm Gettin' Nothin' for Christmas - The Force M.D.'s
8. Holiday Rap - Ice T
9. Christmas Message - Sherrick
10. What I Want (for Christmas) - The New Monkees
11. Happy Holidee - Christine McVie
12. Christmas Greeting - Christine McVie
13. Holiday Message - Randy Travis
14. White Christmas Always Makes Me Blue - Randy Travis
15. Merry Christmas from Los Lobos - Cesar Rosas & Steve Berlin
16. Los Lobos Merry Christmas Intro - Cesar Rosas & Steve Berlin
17. The Christmas Song - Los Lobos
18. Another Lonely Christmas - Prince

Susie & Allie (Tammy Faye Bakker): Christmas with Susie & Allie

Finally! Christmas Characters That Even I, Voldar, Can Care About!

'Bout time, too. You silly humans' obsession with Santa Claus can get right up my Superior Martian... Oh, nevermind.

I understand that these two were members of some sort of highly selective organization, called the PTL, that was hugely influential about 20 years ago. Owned and operated by a Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker, the PTL inhabited an entire city known as Heritage, USA. Jim used this city as his headquarters in his fight against all of the evils of the world such as lying, stealing and sexual perversion. Tammy Faye, on the other hand, used it as a place to record albums on which she sang in the voices of two weird little puppets: Susie (the Pig Girl) and Allie (The Alligator).

This is their (her) Christmas Album from 1984 and it's as cute as it can be.

Susie & Allie (Tammy Faye Bakker): Christmas with Susie & Allie

1. Frosty the Snowman
2. White Christmas
3. Winter Wonderland
4. O Christmas Tree
5. We Wish You a Merry Christmas
6. Jingle Bells
7. Away in the Manger
8. The Christmas Story
9. Joy to the World

Rotary Connection: Peace

Okay, Silly Earthlings! Who Stole My PEACE Pipe!?!

And I'm not talking about a sorry bit of Drug Paraphernalia. I'm talking about one of the many and very impressive and incredibly important tubes that pokes out of my very impressive and incredibly important helmet. It's the one pipe that helps me control my Madness. I mean... My Temper! It also helps me keep my Brain Gas inside my skull!

Damnit! My Very Impressive and Incredibly Important Martian Intelligence is going to seep out of my Freakin' Hat thanks to you people!

I should be quite angry and, out of retribution, not share with you this incredible recording. I'm not gonna do that, though.

It's called "Peace" and it's by Rotary Connection. It has everything you could ever need during the Holidays... Traditional Christmas Tunes, Loud Wailing Psychedelic Hippie Guitar, Sweet Smooth Soul and, even, Obvious Drug Reference Lyrics!

Rotary Connection: Peace

1. Opening Round
2. Silent Night
3. Christmas Love
4. Last Call for Peace
5. Shopping Bag Menagerie
6. Silent Night
7. Christmas Child
8. Peace at Least
9. Santa's Little Helpers
10. Sidewalk Santa
11. If Peace Was All We Had
12. Silent Night Chant
13. Silence The Rotary Connection

Various Artists: Christmas Guitars

Happy Holidays, Silly Earthlings!



I'm Back! The idiot Traitor Vic forgot to lock the door after I left in August and now I, Voldar, have returned to wreak Holiday Havok on The Tuna Melt!

I got here just in time for the Holiday Season! Yesterday was Thanksgiving here in the USA and that is, traditionally, the beginning of the season that encompasses Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa and New Years. There aren't many people, of course, who celebrate all four of those, but it's a fairly good number of holidays in a relatively short time. I say that's a good reason to celebrate all by itself!

I have always avoided ripping from Cassette Tapes, but that is the only format that I had a copy of this on. Luckily, our pal Eddie Riff (over at Eddie's Riffs) was kind enough to supply a copy he ripped from his Compact Disc. Thanks, Eddie!

This one is called Christmas Guitars and it features performances by Larry Coryell, Al Anderson, Taj Majal, Adrian Belew, Terre Roche and a few others.

Various Artists: Christmas Guitars

1. White Christmas - The Guitar Ensemble
2. Bring a Torch, Jeannette, Isabella - Nancy Wilson
3. The Christmas Song - Larry Coryell
4. Rudoph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer - Al Anderson
5. We Three Kings - Adrian Belew
6. Christmas Passacaglia - David Tanenbaum
7. God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen - Taj Mahal
8. Christmas Medley - Yomo Toro
9. Joy to the World - Terre Roche
10. Winter Wonderland - Al Kooper
11. We Three Kings - Emily Remler
12. Taqasim for the Magi - Geral Trimble
13. Little Drummer Boy - Nina Gerber
14. Wind Through the Olive Trees - Terry Garthwaite
15. The Christmas Song - Michele Shocked
16. I Saw Three Ships - John Renbourn
17. What Child Is This? - Larry Coryell
18. Break Forth, O Beauteous Heav'nly Light - Scott Johnson
19. Have Yourself a Merry Little Chritmas - John Scofield

So Welcome to The Holiday Season! I hope the best for all of you. I hope your travels go well and that all of you and that all that you care for are well and happy.

Herman Brood & His Wild Romance: Herman Brood & His Wild Romance

Dope Sucks!

Herman Brood (pronounced "Ehrman Broat") was a true Rock 'n Roll Junkie. The Dutch personification of "sex, drugs and rock 'n roll," he was nearly more famous for his outspokeness concerning sex and drug use than for his music.

He started playing piano for The Moans (who later became Long Tall Ernie and The Shakers) in 1964. Soon after, though, Harry Muskee asked him to join Cuby and The Blizzards and he was with them for the next decade. He started His Wild Romance in 1977. He began painting in the early 90s and became as successful a visual artist (known for his large-scale, colourful works reminiscent of the CoBrA style) as he was a musician.

He even kicked just about all of his habits. At least he cut back to only alcohol and a daily shot of speed. Seems he waited too late, though, as he was told in 2001 that he only had a few months to live. On July 11, at the age of 54, he lept to his death from the roof of the Amsterdam Hilton.

Herman Brood & His Wild Romance: Herman Brood & His Wild Romance

1. Saturday Night
2. Doin' It
3. Champagne (& Wine)
4. Back (In Y'r Love)
5. Doreen
6. Hit
7. R & Roll Junkie
8. Dope Sucks
9. Never Enough
10. Pain
11. Get Lost
12. Hot Talk
13. Prisoners
14. Skid Row

This is the US release of the album that was released in Holland (in 1978) as "Shpritsz". The only differences are the deletion of the song "One" and the change of the cover art from the image of a male's hip to the (much less artistically presented) image of a female posterior. I'm sure the record company was afraid that the Male image would frighten customers away just like the cover of Sticky Fingers did.

Oh. And then there's the fact that (as I had noticed previously, but was thankfully pointed out by Billy Shears) the introductory Title Song is a Completely Different Recording from one record to the other. That's a difference, too.

The Coolies: dig..? & Doug

What's So Cool About That!?!

Q: Who are The Coolies?
A: Five fine young men from Atlanta, GA not too different from you or me except for being blessed with seemingly superhuman talent, overwhelming artistic integrity and devastating good looks.

Q: Why do they call themselves The Coolies?
A: Well, the dictionary defines a coolie as "one who does heavy work for little pay." (I'm surprised there aren't more more bands around called The Coolies!)

Q: Why don't The Coolies play original songs?
A: They do! Just ask Paul Simon! He wrote most of 'em!

Q: Do The Coolies like to Party?
A: Only in groups of one or more and on certain special occasions, like the drop of a hat.

I copied those questions and those answers off of the back of the record jacket. They oughta go a long way toward explaining this record.

The Coolies: dig..?

1. Scarborough Fair
2. Bridge Over Troubled Water
3. The 59th St. Bridge Song (Feelin' Groovy)
4. I Am a Rock
5. El Condor Pasa
6. Having My Baby
7. Cecilia
8. Homeward Bound
9. Mrs. Robinson
10. The Only Living Boy in New York

Allow me, please, to quote a review from Trouser Press to explain the next one. Here goes:
"Amazingly, the Coolies followed the one-joke dig..? with the brilliant Doug, a trenchant "rock opera" about a skinhead who murders a transvestite short-order cook, gets rich by publishing his victim's recipes, falls into paranoia and substance abuse and ends up in the gutter. The sad tale is related through ingenious knockoffs of the Who ("Cook Book"), John Lennon ("Poverty"), the Replacements ("Coke Light Ice"), rap ("Pussy Cook") and metal ("The Last Supper"), and in a comic book — not included with the cassette or CD, alas — designed by Jack Logan, of Pete Buck Comics fame. A quantum leap from its predecessor's one-dimensional silliness, Doug is a work of demented genius."

Here it is.

The Coolies: Doug

1. Talkin' 'Bout Doug
2. Ice Cold Soul
3. Pussy Cook
4. Cook Book
5. Shirts and Skins
6. Coke Light Ice
7. Doug!
8. 40 Foot Stretch
9. The Last Supper
10. Ain't Gonna Eat No More
11. Crack Pipe (Burnin' My Hand)
12. Poverty
13. Talkin' 'Bout Doug (reprise)

In case you don't recognize the inspiration for the name of the Transvestite Short-Order Cook, here's a picture (lifted directly from the Carvel Ice Cream website) of Cookie Puss.

A Whole Pile of Christmas

Merry Christmas in July!!! Tuna Melt is OWNED by VOLDAR!!!

I, Voldar, have taken over The Tuna Melt for the remainder of the month of July!!! Traitor Vic and his
silly "wait a month and then download this crappy record" attitude have been shoved to the side by my superior Martian intellect, not to mention my brawny physical condition and this fancy helmet that I wear which has all sorts of strange tubes and hoses and stuff poking out of it!

This is me. I am from Mars! I am Superior to You! I am BAD!!!

This is me about to Kill your silly Santa Claus!!! Ha ha ha!!!

Okay. I didn't, of course.
That, though, was only because I enjoy the conflict that exists between the two of us.
Do not believe reports that he defeated me very soon after this photograph was taken.
How could that have possibly happened?
Am I, Voldar, not clearly in control of the situation?

Yep. Sure am, boy howdy!

I take Complete Control of The Tuna Melt, of course, to prove to you STUPID Earthlings that you are STUPID! Especially you who celebrate Christmas (the most STUPID of All STUPID Earthling Holidays)!

In order to prove to you that you are STUPID, I post this directly to the blog. Traitor Vic would not have done this. He is STUPID! This is my plan: To prove that STUPID Earthlings will enjoy Christmas in July!!! As such, I make this post immediately available to all. I'm sure you'll all be excited to be able to add "Merry Christmas from Lawrence Welk and His Champagne Music" to your STUPID Holiday Music Collections.

Lawrence Welk: Merry Christmas from Lawrence Welk and His Champagne Music

1. Let it Snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow!
2. I Wanna Do More Than Whistle (Under the Mistletoe)
3. White Christmas
4. Christmas Island
5. The Christmas Toy
6. Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town
7. Winter Wonderland
8. Christmas Dreaming (A Little Early This Year)
9. Christmas Comes But Once a Year
10. Thanks for Christmas
11. Twelve Gifts of Christmas
12. High on the Housetop

Also, allow me to take this opportunity to let you know of Traitor Vic's STUPID posts from Christmas 2006 that are still active in case you didn't get them already.

Billy Vaughn: Christmas Carols

1. White Christmas
2. It Came Upon a Midnight Clear
3. O Holy Night
4. Deck the Halls
5. The First Noel
6. Joy to the World
7. Adeste Fideles
8. Silent Night
9. God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen
10. O Tannenbaum
11. Hark! The Herald Angels Sing
12. Faith of Our Fathers
13. Jingle Bells
14. O Little Town of Bethlehem

Various Artists: A Midnight Christmas Mess

1. Christmastime Here (Could Never Be Like That) - Wednesday Week
2. On Comet - The Point
3. Christmastime With You - The Cheepskates
4. Here's What I Want on a Christmas Day - Justin Love
5. Christmas Dance - Johnny Rabb
6. Gotta Get Lucky for Xmas - Johnny Rabb
7. Xmas Time (It Sure Doesn't Feel Like It) - The Dogmatics
8. Last Minute Rush - The Cheepskates
9. Merry Christmas - Plan 9
10. Christmas Tyme (Baby) - Yard Trauma
11. Forget It - Nadroj & The Wolrats
12. Schizophrenic X'mas - The Suburban Nightmares
13. Gloria (in Excelsis Deo) - The Tryfles
14. It's Christmas (A Time for Giving) - Screamin' Jay Hawkins
15. Silent Night (J.D.'s Salute to Phil Spector) - Droogs

Various Artists: Oh! No! Not Another... Midnight Christmas Mess Again!!

1. Hazy Shades of Winter - The Slickee Boys
2. Christmas I'll Be Home - The Vipers
3. Star - The Cheepskates
4. Santa is Comin' Down Again - The Psycho Daisies
5. Santa Ain't Santa - Woofing Cookies
6. Jesus Christ - The Love Pushers
7. O Tannenbaum Now - Das Furlines
8. Blue Christmas - The Ravens
9. Wreck These Halls - Howard & Jag's X-mas Vacation
10. Sleighbell Bop - The Holidays
11. Coal in My Stocking - The Backbones
12. Christmas Eve at KNL (Kansas Neurological Institute) - The Iguanas
13. Snow is Falling - Dementia 13

Various Artists: Its Midnight Xmess Part III

1. Reindeer n' Whiskey - The Iguanas
2. Celebrate! - Whooping Cranes
3. "Yuh, Xmess" - Gorhounds
4. My Sears Catalogue - Sharky's Machine
5. Xmas Will Never - The Love Pushers
6. Merry Christmas, Baby - The Senders
7. Mrs. Claus Has Menopause - The Sterilles
8. Staring in the Eye of God - The Woofing Cookies
9. Are You Ready for Christmas - Luther n' B.B.B.'s
10. One Winter's Night - The Brood
11. December Mourning - Crocodile Shop
12. Christmas Comes to Those Who Wait - Dimentia 13
13. The Last Noel - John Frankovic

Living Strings: The Sound of Christmas

1. White Christmas
2. Medley: I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day / Silver Bells / Out of the East
3. The Christmas Waltz
4. Medley: Winter Wonderland / Jingle Bells / Snow Bells
5. Medley: Oh Come All Ye Faithful / The First Noel / The Coventry Carol / O Holy Night
6. Do You Hear What I Hear?
7. A Handful of Happy New Years
8. Medley: Toyland / The Little Drummer Boy / Parade of the Wooden Soldiers
9. Blue Christmas
10. Medley: O Christmas Tree / Deck the Halls / The Wassail Song / Silent Night

Remember, too, to check out the STUPID Christmas Music Specific blogs to see what they've got going on this July. Allow me to recommend 77 Santas, BongBells, Hi-Fi Holiday, Ernie (Not Bert), Musical Fruitcake and Red Ryder BB Gun.

Also make sure you check out the Christmas in July post at The Vintage Place.

Michel Legrand: Strings on Fire

On Fire!?! It's Simply In Sane!

Back in the 50s and 60s a good deal of really cheap movies were made about "What Might Happen If" scenarios. For instance... What Might Happen if Nuclear Energy Affected Ants and Made them Really Big and Dangerous!?! Or... What Might Happen if Nuclear Power Were to Distort a Man's Ability to Fight Against Horrifically Enlarged (by Nuclear Power, of course) Rodents!?!

All this "What Might Happen If" stuff kinda gets me to thinking about this record. It seems a perfect example of What Might Happen if Jackie Gleason were Conducting an Orchestra When, Suddenly... He were Possesed by the Spirit of Juan Garcia Esquivel!?!

Scary, huh?

Not really, though. Michel Legrand, who's album this is, was born into a musical family (his father was a successful conductor and his sister was a member of the Swingle Singers) in 1932. He was already studying music when, in 1947, a friend gave him a ticket to a Dizzy Gillespie concert.

That being said, Michel Legrand has produced quite a few High-Brow "Real" Jazz records over the last 60 years ("Legrand Jazz," on Columbia-EMI, and "C'Est Magnifique," on Mercury, are real standouts), he has also created, conducted and/or produced a fair amount of Less Important Music. Some fault him for this. I say that it's simply because he realized a few years back that All Music is Good (unless it's Music That Sucks, of course) and that the Sound of Strings Zooming and Zinging around a room (from the speakers of a Console Stereo) was a Marvelous Thing!

This guy is GOOD! If you ever see a copy of his "Archi-Cordes" or "Plays for Dancers" in a Thrift Shop... GRAB IT!!!

In the meantime... Enjoy this.

Michel Legrand: Strings on Fire

1. Perfidia
2. El Choclo
3. Boulevard of Broken Dreams
4. What Is This Thing Called Love
5. Everything I Have is Yours
6. Jezebel
7. Jalousie
8. Close Your Eyes
9. Temptation
10. Come Back to Sorrento
11. Tabu
12. All or Nothing At All

Jason and The Scorchers: Fervor & Still Standing

Tuna Melt goes CowPunk!

One of these discs was posted at The Tuna Melt last year, but now is your chance to get it if you didn't then. In case you're not familiar with CowPunk, these guys are a great place to start. This is how that happened...

This fella, who grew up on a Pig Farm in Illinois, moves to Nashville with dreams of being a Music Star. But not a Nashville Music Star. He's kinda into a more Punk Rock frame of mind. At the same time, though, he's from a Pig Farm in Illinois, so his song's lyrics are a bit more, well... Country. Somehow he bumped into the most incredible bunch of young musicians in the Music City. The band that they formed was too good for words.

Too good for American Radio too, I suppose, as Country Radio refused to play them because they were too Rock and Rock Radio refused them because, of course, they were too Country. As a result, after releasing four appropriately Scorching albums, they disbanded in 1989. After that, of course, thier history gets complicated.

Jason and the Nashville Scorchers were the closest that Cowpunk ever got to Real Punk. Although the songs are tuneful and melodic beyond what most punk ever dreamed of, and they could also play the quiet stuff as good as The Flying Burritos or The Byrds, the energy and drive they pushed into each tune put them into a class that includes the fastest, loudest bands of all time.

This is their first nationwide American release, a 7-song Mini Album that came out in 1983.

Jason and The Scorchers: Fervor

1. Absolutely Sweet Marie
2. Help There's a Fire
3. I Can't Help Myself
4. Hot Nights in Georgia
5. Pray for Me, Mama (I'm a Gypsy Now)
6. Harvest Moon
7. Both Sides of the Line

And this is their third album, from 1986.

Jason and The Scorchers: Still Standing

1. Golden Ball and Chain
2. Crashin' Down
3. Shotgun Blues
4. Good Things Come to Those Who Wait
5. My Heart Still Stands with You
6. 19th Nervous Breakdown
7. Ocean of Doubt
8. Ghost Town
9. Take Me to Your Promised Land

Wayne County & The Electric Chairs: Man Enough to Be a Woman

The Punk Rock Freak Show!

I was in a bar once (actually, I was in that bar more than once) and was talking to a fellow about Punk Rock bands. We were listening to The Mekons on the Jukebox and were naming bands to each other and telling each other what we thought of those mentioned. When I said "Wayne County & The Electric Chairs" he said he didn't care for them because he felt that they tried to turn Punk Rock into a Freak Show.

What is Punk Rock other than A Freak Show!?!

What is Rock & Roll other than A Freak Show!?!

What, for that matter, is Humanity?

Yep. You got it. You're a freak and so am I. We might be different kinds of freaks, but that's all that we, as humans, have the capacity to be.

Get on over to O CANADARM! right now and scroll downward (or just take this quick shortcut: http://ocanadarm.blogspot.com/2007/05/electric-chairs-uk.html) to find the first record, "Blatantly Offenzive", from Wayne County & The Electric Chairs. God knows those Canadians are a bunch of Freaks. Right!?!

This one, "Man Enough to Be a Woman," came out in 1978. It's Freakish. It's Freaky. It's Freakaholic!

Wayne County & The Electric Chairs: Man Enough to Be a Woman

1. Storm the Gates of Heaven
2. Cry of Angels
3. Speed Demon
4. Mr. Normal
5. Man Enough to Be a Woman
6. Trying to Get on the Radio
7. I Had Too Much to Dream Last Night
8. Tomorrow is Another Day

Richard Lloyd: Field of Fire

The Man who Created the Television!

Okay. That may be a bit of an overstatement, but it's not much of one. The latest post to The Tuna Melt is of a record by an individual who was recruited, in 1973, to join a band called The Neon Boys who were regrouping after a brief split. The new band took the name Television and, with new guitarist Richard Lloyd joining Tom Verlaine, Billy Ficca and Richard Hell, went on to make Rock and Roll History. If you don't know the rest of that story it's not too hard to find. I'd suggest AllMusic for this one at: http://www.allmusic.com/cg/amg.dll?p=amg&sql=11:fifqxqr5ldse~T1.

Back, though, to Richard Lloyd. This guy Loved to Jam! He and Verlaine would go off on these tangents that were all over the map, though never exactly the "blues-based" jams that, well, Jam Bands had dealt with mostly up to that point. These jams, though they rocked and had a nice beat and were easy to dance to, were quirky and seemed a bit disjointed and were just plain weird back in the 70s.

Television finally broke up in 1978 after achieving very much critical but, of course, very little actual (or financial) success. Lloyd released a solo record called "Alchemy" in 1979 and then disappeared into drug addiction.

This is his comeback record. "Field of Fire" was released in 1985 and features a reborn (literally, in the religious sense) and rejuvenated Richard Lloyd at the top of his game. It lacks some of the Punkish edge that some might expect, considering his history, but the attitude is all there. It's Loud. It's Proud. And at times... It Jams!

Well… In a strange way, anyhow.

Richard Lloyd: Field of Fire

1. Watch Yourself
2. Losin' Anna
3. Soldier Blue
4. Keep On Dancin'
5. Pleading
6. Lovin' Man
7. Black to White
8. Field of Fire
   

Ya'll oughta listen to more Punk Rock. It's good for your brain.

The B-52's: Mesopotamia

There's a lot of Ruins in...

Back when it all started (around the 4th millennium BC) they called it Mesopotamia. What inspired The B-52's to write a song about it is beyond me. It might be because the Mesopotamians invented beer. It might not, though.

As it is, however, the song that they did write and record is really cool, as is the entire record on which it appeared. It was produced by David Byrne and released, as a 6 song 12" EP, in 1982.

And we all know that, since the area that Mesopotamia existed in is now known as Iraq, there are even more ruins there now than there were in the 80s. I'd like to think that I'll hear something else about Mesopotamia, soon, that makes me feel as happy as this record always has.

The B-52's: Mesopotamia

1. Loveland
2. Deep Sleep
3. Mesopotamia
4. Cake
5. Throw That Beat in the Garbage Can
6. Nip It in the Bud

The Beat Farmers: The Pursuit of Happiness

I was a Member of a Cult!?!

And I didn't even know it! I thought I was just some dude that liked this band, like, a lot. Upon reading about them online recently, I find that I was a Member of their Cult Following.

So, anyway... The Beat Farmers were a Great American Rock n Roll Band. I don't care if it required my joining a Cult just to like 'em, of if they were signed, at one point, to MCA's Curb Records which was a Country Label.

Okay. I kinda do care about that last bit. The Beat Farmers were not Just a Great Rock n Roll Band, they were Also a Great Country Band.

And "The Pursuit of Happiness" was a great record. The second of theirs on Curb, and the first with Joey Harris replacing Buddy Blue on lead guitar, it starts right out with a really amazing tune, by Paul Kamanski, that I have always thought is the closest that anyone on the Left Coast has ever come to Springsteenism (or Springsteenishness, or whatever), called "Hollywood Hills," and just keeps on goin'.

Go ahead and pull the ol' Air Guitar out of it's case. Make sure it's tuned up and ready to go.

The Beat Farmers: The Pursuit of Happiness

1. Hollywood Hills
2. Ridin'
3. Dark Light
4. Make It Last
5. Key to the World
6. God Is Here Tonight
7. Big Big Man
8. Elephant Day Parade
9. Rosie
10. Texas
11. Big River

Yma Sumac: Legend of the Sun Virgin

The Queen of Exotica

This post continues the Hukilau influenced theme with an Exotica Masterpiece. I was among those lucky enough to meet this lovely woman, Yma Sumac, at Hukilau in 2005. Lemme tell ya, folks... This chick is Exotica incarnate!

If, somehow, you have avoided becoming familiar with her over the years, please scurry on over to the Space Age Pop Music Page (http://www.spaceagepop.com/sumac.htm) and read all about her. There is also a great deal of information about her provided on the Last.fm site, at http://www.last.fm/music/Yma+Sumac/+wiki.

See also these expressly Yma-centric websites at:
http://www.yma-sumac.com/
and
http://www.sunvirgin.com/

This record is composed of pretty serious music which tells the story of The Sun Virgin. The notes on the back of the album cover explain it thusly:

A native Peruvian and descendant of the Inca Kings, Miss Sumac draws the inspiration for this new album from her colorful background and heritage. The ancient Incas worshiped the Sun God and the Moon Goddess Quilla. Every year the most beautiful maidens were selected to become Virgins of the Sun, serving in the convent which rivaled in splendor the Inca's palace.

The sacred flame was entrusted to the Virgins and if by neglect it was allowed to go out, it was believed that some terrible disaster would follow.

The Virgin assumed holy vows which bound her to the temple service. Should she prove unfaithful to her vows, she was buried alive, while her lover was strangled, and the village to which she belonged, razed "so that no stone stood upon another."

Damn!

Click on the following picture (and all the album covers posted on this site) 'cause it's a beauty, boy howdy!

Yma Sumac: Legend of the Sun Virgin

1. Karibe Taki
2. Witallia!
3. Lament
4. Kon Tiki
5. Montana
6. Zana
7. No Es Vida
8. Kuyaway (Inca Love Song)
9. Suray Suray
10. Mamallay!
11. Panarima
12. Ccori Canastitay

The Polynesians: Aloha Hawaii

Travel Halfway to Hawaii with The Tuna Melt

This record was recorded by actual Hawaiians. The songs on it, though, were for the most part composed by Caucasian men from The Mainland. Some of them had probably never even been to Hawaii.

Music such as this is commonly refered to as "Hapa Haole" music. Hapa means Half in Hawaiian. Haole is the Hawaiian word for White Guys, or those of European bloodlineage.

There are a lot of folks that don't like this type of music. They are welcome to ignore this post. There are others who enjoy it immensely, but who feel guilty for doing so because of some weird political reasons. They are welcome to download this record, listen to it often, and not tell anyone how much fun they're having.

I could not save the final track of this record (Track 5, Side 2: Loch Lomond), so I left it out of the post. It was simply scratched to pieces. I would say that I'm sorry, but I'm not.

The Polynesians: Aloha Hawaii

1. To You Sweetheart, Aloha
2. Pulupe
3. Kalua
4. Beauty Hula
5. Aloha Oe
6. Song of the Islands
7. Tomi Tomi
8. Beyond the Reef
9. Lovely Hula Hands

The Exotic Sounds of Martin Denny: Exotic Percussion

Tuna Melt Exotica!

For the next month (or so) The Tuna Melt is going to be concentrating on Things Related to TIKI. The wife and I are headed down to Fort Lauderdale in a couple of weeks to attend the 2007 installment of The Hukilau, a celebration of Midcentury Polynesian Pop Culture. Go here now to see what that's all about: http://www.thehukilau.com/2007/.

I'm sure that many of you are already tuned in to what Exotica Music is and is all about. For those who are not, however, allow me to introduce The King.

Martin Denny invented the genre and he did it all by himself. People like to point out that Les Baxter wrote the song "Quiet Village" in 1951, but it was Denny who recorded the Quintessential "Quiet Village" in 1957. And he did it on his own terms, with his own band and with his own bird calls.

This record came out four years into the Exotica craze in 1961. Percussion was a big thing about that time, so Exotic Percussion was just natural. The instruments listed as having been used on this record include: Tuned Burmese Gongs, Wood Chimes, Steel Chimes, Samisen, Magna Harp, Celeste, Celestette, Ipo, Marimba, Bongos, Wind Chimes, Vibes, Piccolo Xylophones, Marimbula and Everyone's Favorites, of course, BOO BAMS!!!

The Exotic Sounds of Martin Denny: Exotic Percussion

1. My Tane (My Man)
2. Cumana
3. Softly, As in a Morning Sunrise
4. Day Delight
5. Moonlight on the Ganges
6. Cherokee (Indian Love Song)
7. Misirlou
8. Anna
9. Song of the Bayou
10. Moonlight and Shadows
11. My Shawl
12. The Girl Friend of the Whirling Dervish

X-teens: …big boy's dream / X-teens

One of Many Great Things to Emerge from... The Rip Van Winkle State?

Yep. That's one of the ways by which they refer to themselves, those folks in North Carolina. A few years back, though, there were some there who refered to themselves as The X-teens.

They musta refered themselves to the correct individuals, I'd say, in that they eventually had a sweet little 5 Song EP released on Moonlight Records in 1980. And the reference must have continued, positively, through the release of the Full Length Album X-teens, on Dolphin Records, in 1983.

Yep.

X-teens: ...big boy's dream

1. Johnny's Having Fun
2. Fragile Beings
3. In a Grey Circus
4. Venus
5. Big Boy's Dream

X-teens: X-teens

1. Nobody
2. In Droves
3. Tonight Tonight
4. Anyone Can
5. Baby John
6. Heaven in Your Eyes
7. Romper Rheumatism
8. Penny
9. Hard is a Love Daparting
10. Nothing Left to Say
11. Emotion X-teens
12. Happy Again
13. Shift and Rotate
14. Cold War

You can check out the website of he who produced both of these, Don Dixon, here: http://www.dondixonmusic.com/

And Finally, after lookin' around for it for 23 years, I find that Power Pop Criminal$ has been kind enough to post "Love and Politics," the X-teens final output. Go get it Here. Be sure to check out the rest of the site, too, and to leave a comment if you're as impressed as I am.

Ray Martin and His Orchestra: Thunderball and Other Thriller Music / Billy Strange, His Guitar and Orchestra: Goldfinger

Two from Her Majesty's Secret Service

Both of these records were released in 1965, both are named for James Bond films and both feature mostly instrumental collections of popular music. That's where the similarities end, though. These are very different records but both are great for different reasons.

The first is by Ray Martin. You may know Ray from the two volumes he created for the Stereo Action series (Dynamica and Excitement, Incorporated). He also recorded a record called "Goldfinger and Other James Bond Thrillers." This record is Exotica Spy Jazz with lots of Stereo Exploitation, Nonsense Ooooh-Ahhhh Lyrics, Zappy Brass and Zinging, Swirling Strings. It will sound great as you're flashing down a mountain road in your Aston Martin DB5.

Ray Martin and His Orchestra: Thunderball and Other Thriller Music

1. Thunderball
2. The Knack
3. Theme from 'The F.B.I.'
4. Theme from 'The Man from U.N.C.L.E.'
5. Mister Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
6. Theme for 'Honey West'
7. I Spy
8. Theme from 'Trials of O'Brien'
9. The Young Set

The second record is probably a little better suited for listening to in the Sunbeam Alpine that was the car Bond drove in the first film, Dr. No. It's a bit more Pop oriented than the Ray Martin album, but that makes sense considering that it was recorded by the fella that played guitar on Nancy Sinatra's "These Boots were Made for Walking." Billy Strange also played with Elvis Presley, Johnny Cash, The Beach Boys, Jan and Dean, and Speedy West. He's got a great website: http://www.billystrangemusic.com/.

Billy Strange, His Guitar and Orchestra: Goldfinger

1. Goldfinger
2. More
3. Paladin (Have Gun Will Travel)
4. Goin' Out of My Head
5. I Feel Fine
6. Theme for Pussy Galore
7. Peter Gunn
8. Dear Heart
9. Theme from The Munsters
10. The Jerk
11. Come See About Me
12. Man with the Golden Arm

G.E. Smith: In the World / The Paley Brothers: The Paley Brothers

Pure Pop for Tuna People

These two records have next to nothing in common. What they do share, however, is what is known as Pop Sensibility. Pop Sensibility is that thing that makes things sound good to just about everybody. Of course, some folks hate that which the majority adore and, so, reject the idea that one can actually quantify quality based on acceptance. In other words... Not all of what we refer to as Popular Music is, in fact, Popular.

Our first example is by G.E. Smith. George Edward Smith grew up in Stroudsburg, Pennsylvania, and played in the band behind Hall & Oates for most of the 80s. Many remember him as the ponytailed leader of the Saturday Night Live Band from 1985 to 1995. In the meantime he filled his empty moments playing with folks like Mick Jagger and David Bowie. There is a great biographical sketch of him here: http://www.greenmirror.com/gebio.html.

This is a solo effort from 1981. It's a Really, Really Great Record.

G.E. Smith: In the World

1. Heart Frozen Up
2. Real Love
3. Rita
4. The Blind Boy Rag
5. Nuns with Guns
6. Powerman
7. Sad About Girls
8. Fake o' the Land
9. James Brown
10. In the World

And then there's this. This is the type of record that I was prepared to hate with all of my heart and soul when it came out in 1978. It's like all of that stuff that was, back then, being pumped out by Rex Smith and Lief Garrett and Shaun Cassidy!!! Eck!

But... This record was Different! It was GOOD!!! And the Paley Brothers were members of the Boston Punk Underground!!! So it kind of freaked me out. The thing that convinced me was the fact that The Paley Brothers teamed with The Ramones to record a cover of Ritchie Valens' "Come On, Let's Go" for the Soundtrack of "Rock 'n' Roll High School."

You would do well to visit this site to find out more: http://www.punkblowfish.com/BlowfishPaley.htm.

The Paley Brothers: The Paley Brothers

1. You're the Best
2. Too Good to Be True
3. I Hear the Bluebirds Sing
4. Magic Power
5. Turn the Tide
6. Stick with Me Baby
7. Tell Me Tonight
8. Lovin' Eyes Can't Lie
9. Come Out and Play
10. Down the Line