Welcome to The Tuna Melt Music Sharity Blog!

It is here that I post old records that I've ripped
to Mp3 format (and grouped in .ZIP files) via File Sharing Sites,
album cover scans and, sometimes,
somewhat coherent ramblings related to said shares.

None of the shares here are "borrowed" from other blogs.
All of the items shared are rips of Out-of-Print
(or, at least, very difficult to get)
Vinyl Records from my own collection.

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Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Jack W. Hester Presents: The Rapture (A Narrative Drama of the Second Coming of Christ)


Tuna Melt Gonna Scare You to Jesus, for Christ's Sake!!!


I've been horribly frightened by three different experiences involving mass media in my lifetime.

One of those took place on September 11, 2001, was immediately reported on both Television and Radio, and should require no explanation.

Another instance, this one centered around a Motion Picture, occurred upon my attendance at the local showing of George Romero's "Dawn of the Dead" in 1978. I had been a bit too young to see "Night of the Living Dead" when it came out but, since Romero waited an entire decade to produce the sequel, I was at just the correct demographic age (probably 16 or so) to experience the Second of the Best Zombie Movies Ever Made.

If you haven't seen the movie, I'll let you know only that most of it takes place in a Shopping Mall.

So... Guess where I was working at the time?!? Yep!!! A Shopping Mall!!!

Walking around in the hallways and tunnels that ran behind the stores became incredibly spooky all of a sudden.

Scared of Zombies!?! Yep! You can bet I was!

A Zombie could be Anybody, for Pete's Sake!!!

Your Mama Could Be a ZOMBIE!!!

Or your GIRLFRIEND, or your BEST FRIEND, or your GRANDMOTHER!!!

Or THAT WEIRD GUY AT THE CONVENIENCE STORE!!!

Are You Ready for the Onslaught? Find Out Now!!!
97%

The other event that involved Mass Media and scared the livin' crap out of me occurred when This Record came out.

For one thing... It was Played on the Morning Radio Show in my hometown!!!

Yep... The fellow who used to host the television show on which all us little children were lined up on bleachers to meet Mister Monty and Mister Doohickey also worked on the local Radio Station (back in the days when The Newspaper, The Television Station and The Radio Station in One City could all be owned by one company - an idea which is currently being rallied for by those corporations that fought to have it made illegal about 20 years ago). Hearing Mr. Monty play this record on the radio (along with disclaimers to make sure he didn't crank up another "War of the Worlds" scenario) was enough to convince me that should be taken seriously. On top of that... They played it for us kids (the boys, at least) at the church that my family was attending at the time.

One result was that I was afraid to go to the Bathroom (Just to Pee, for Pete's Sake) at the Church for YEARS after being forced to absorb this crap! I was TERRIFIED that JESUS CHRIST would WALK IN BEFORE I GOT MY PANTS ZIPPED!!! I eventually got over it and figured out that Unreasonable Fear is, well... Unreasonable.

For those of you unfamiliar with "The Rapture" (in Christian eschatology), it is the name given to the future event in which Jesus Christ will descend from Heaven, accompanied by the spirits of all of the saints of God who have already passed on, after which the bodily remains of these saints are transported from the earth to meet the Lord and be rejoined with their corresponding spirits in the air. Immediately following this, all Christians alive on the earth are simultaneously transported to meet the Lord and those who have preceded them in the air. It's The Second Coming of Christ, in other words.

You can get the idea that this could be frightening to the rest of those left wandering around on Earth, wondering what the heck just took place.

Please allow me to point out that, according to this account, the vast majority of us will be enjoying Grand Funk on our radio sets at the time of Christ's return (which suits me just fine). And references made, on this album, to "The Jetport" are the result of my hometown actually referring to it's local airport as "The Jetport" until the mid-90s.

I've divided this record into three parts:

Part 1 is the Introduction - interesting to a degree, but rather ignorable in my opinion.

Part 2 is the HORRIFIC REALITY of THE RAPTURE as Reported on RADIO!!!

Part 3 is a couple of guys reading stuff from the Bible and Preaching.

Jack W. Hester Presents: The Rapture (A Narrative Drama of the Second Coming of Christ)
  1. Introduction
  2. The HORRIFIC REALITY of THE RAPTURE as Reported on RADIO
  3. A Couple of Guys Reading Stuff from the Bible and Preaching

7 comments:

RevRev said...

Yikes!

Epistelesslogical Rupture said...

I know this recording is pretty old, but I think I could've done a more compelling, Orson Wellesian job of this mockuraptury with a cheap 1980s boombox. But don't hold me to it, 'cause I'm not all that interested in scaring folks into faith.

Traitor Vic said...

Ah, yes! But you DIDN'T now, did you? Nope. The fact is that a RUPTURE (as fearsome a concept as that may be) is not a RAPTURE. And, of course, when this record was recorded the Cheap 1980s boombox was not yet available...

jeffree g. moore said...

the President is WHAT?!?...

Traitor Vic said...

EEK!!! Ya know... I've kinda wondered about that myself. "Here in Washington, it has been announced that The President of the United States" is... Useless? Pissed Off? Hiding Under a Chair in the Oval Office? Heck! The possibilities are ENDLESS!!!

mike weber/fairportfan said...

Well, hi there, homeboy!

I grew up in Greenville (well, Simpsonville) but i went to Greenville Senior High) - i was on Monty's Gang once, too.

My mother was in advertising in Greenville _ she came up with "It's Pet, youbet!" and "On with the Texize, off with the dirt" among other campaigns - and she spent a lot of time doing radio production work with Monty duPuy, Stoe Hoyle (Mr Doohickey), Billy Powell and Rene Royard (Mr Dutch).

When did this come out, BTW? I last lived in Greenville in 1972, though my family lived there some years past that.

(Incidentally, the Jetport used to be the busiest airport in the world for two weeks every other year, because of the International Textile Exposition.)

lamce said...

I just found this record yesterday at a flea market. I also found another record of his called Tribulations-the same type of fear based crap! Gotta love it. :)