Sunday, December 28, 2008

Gotta Go!

Okay. I've gone ahead and let Traitor Vic out of his box. Perhaps he'll keep this ball rollin', eh? In the meantime... I've got to get back to Mars.

It sure has been fun! I'm, actually, starting to enjoy these times I spend on your stupid planet. I'll try to be back in July!

Until then... Happy New Year!
- Voldar
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Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Webley Edwards Presents Hawaii Calls: A Merry Hawaiian Christmas


Merry Christmas!!!

I'm sorry. You thought you were getting WHAT for Christmas!?!
Well... At least the ol' Tuna Melt is here to help you out! What we got here is "A Merry Hawaiian Christmas"!!! It's a record by Webley Edwards and features a guy named Boyce Kihaiihikapuokalani!!! How Cool Is That!?!
  1. Kani Kani Pele (Jingle Bells)
  2. Ke Keiki Alii (The Child King)
  3. White Christmas
  4. Winter Wonderland
  5. Ka Hikina Mai (It Came Upon a Midnight Clear)
  6. Hele Mai Oukou (O Come All Ye Faithful)
  7. 12 Days of Christmas — In Hawaii
  8. Hamau! Na Anelá (Hark! The Herald Angels Sing)
  9. Mele Kalikimaka (Merry Christmas)
  10. Po La'i E (Silent Night)
I sincerely hope that all is well, and peaceful, for you and your's, and that This Christmas is the Best Ever!!!

Oh! And MERRY CHRISTMAS from The Bakkers, too!
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Monday, December 22, 2008

Stars (of Bethlehem) on 45!

WARNING! This post is Just Plain Weird! And a bit Profane! And downright Sacrilegious!

I'll admit… My own personal collection of Christmas records is pretty extensive and, as such, includes some pretty bizarre items. These 45 rpm records, though, are from the collection of a friend who specializes in this sort of thing. Ranging from 1953 to 2002, I chose these records because I needed to rip copies for myself and then decided I'd share them with the rest of you.

The set includes the following:

Christmas Dragnet (Parts 1 & 2) by Stan Freberg - released in 1953 (and again in 1954 as "Yulenet"), this comedic piece was composed & performed by Stan Freberg and Daws Butler. The music is by Walter Schumann and the Orchestra is conducted by Nathan Scott. It was included, as one track, on Dr. Demento's "Greatest Christmas Novelty CD of All Time" in 1989.

Rock and Roll Christmas b/w New Year's Eve Party by George Thorogood & The Destroyers - Side A is a really rockin' blast of Holiday Merriment. The little heard Side B is one lame blues tune, boy howdy.

Bizarre Christmas Incident b/w Lonely Christmas Eve by Ben Folds - This single was pieced together using two previously released songs in 2003.

The Little Drummer Boy b/w Blue Christmas by Miracle Legion - Side A was featured on Rhino's "New Wave Christmas - Just Can't Get Enough" in 1996. Side B is nice, but includes a rather long verbal Holiday Greeting and introduction of the band, which is probably why it hasn't been released since this single came out in 1985. That's all I know about this band. You can read more at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miracle_Legion if you want to.

Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree b/w Blue Christmas by Dora Hall - Dora was, perhaps, the Ultimate Vanity Artist. Her husband, Leo Hulseman, was the founder of the Solo Cup Company and had so much money that he, apparently, didn't know what to do with it and, so, paid to produce as many records as Dora felt the need and/or desire to record (at least 17 lps and a list of 45 rpm singles about a mile long). None of these records was ever sold. They were distributed freely to anyone unlucky enough to buy a pack of plastic cups when there was a stack of them nearby. Anyone who ever responded by using the "Enroll Me As A Member of the Dora Hall Fan Club" coupon that often appeared on her single's picture sleeves were automatically sent future releases by mail.

White Christmas by '63 Mönröe - A Glam Punk band from London Ontario. Side B is a Monophonic version of the same song (for airplay on Monophonic AM Radio stations) so I didn't bother including it here.

Fuck Christmas b/w (Beep) Christmas by Fear - The Ultimate Punk Rock Christmas Tune! The "Unclean" version on Side A is backed by a "Clean" version for Radio Airplay that has not been re-released to my knowledge.

White Christmas b/w Blue Christmas by Atomic 61 - Noise Punk band from Portland. This Screams!

Various Artists: Christmas Stars on 45 (Various 45rpm Singles)
  1. Stan Freberg w/ Daws Butler & Orchestra - Christmas Dragnet Part 1
  2. Stan Freberg w/ Daws Butler & Orchestra - Christmas Dragnet Part 2
  3. George Thorogood & The Destroyers - Rock and Roll Christmas
  4. George Thorogood & The Destroyers - New Year's Eve Party
  5. Ben Folds - Bizarre Christmas Incident
  6. Ben Folds - Lonely Christmas Eve
  7. Miracle Legion - The Little Drummer Boy
  8. Miracle Legion - Blue Christmas
  9. Dora Hall - Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree
  10. Dora Hall - Blue Christmas
  11. '63 Mönröe - White Christmas
  12. Fear - Fuck Christmas
  13. Fear - (Beep) Christmas
  14. Atomic 61 - White Christmas
  15. Atomic 61 - Blue Christmas
Make sure your MP3 Player is set to play at 45rpm for best results!
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Thursday, December 18, 2008

Various Artists: Winter Warnerland


'Tis the Season to Promote Your Stuff!

That, apparently, is what Warner Bros. Records was thinkin' back in the 80s. I posted a 1987 compilation of Warner Bros. artists performing Christmas related materials, called "Yulesville!", when I was here back in July of last year. Now, in response to a request, I'm postin' this one from 1988. It, like the other, features both music and spoken word "Holiday Greeting" messages.

Note that this is a rip from the Compact Disc, which contains more tracks than the vinyl pressing. Silly Earthling Traitor Vic only posts old vinyl records here but I, being from Mars, am not constrained by such trivial concerns. Bah! As there are 37 tracks here (@ 320kbps), I've split the post into two pieces.

  1. God Rest the House - Jeff Lorber
  2. Winter Wonderland - Good Question
  3. Cold Chillin' Christmas - Cold Chillin' Juice Crew
  4. FM Dial - Warner Bros. Promo
  5. Holiday ID - Nelson Wilbury
  6. Maybe This Could Be the Christmas - Gardner Cole
  7. Holiday ID - James Ingram
  8. Holiday ID (English) - Apollonia
  9. Holiday ID (Spanish) - Apollonia
  10. Once in a Blue Moon Rising - PM
  11. I'm Coming Home - Secret Weapon
  12. Fais Do Do - Daniel Lanois
  13. What Child Is This? - Mark O'Connor
  14. Silver Bells - Jim Horn
  15. Christmas Medley - Pee Wee Herman
  16. Christmas Without You - Tommy Page
  17. Santa's Harley - Warner Bros. Promo
  18. Holiday ID - ZZ Top
  19. Holiday ID / Christmas Song - Bulletboys
  20. Santa Claus Is Getting Down - Jesse Ed Davis
  21. Rudolph the Manic Reindeer - Los Lobos
  22. Deck the Halls - R.E.M.
  23. Angels We Have Heard on High / Gloria - Hugo Largo
  24. Holiday ID - Lou Reed
  25. Blue Christmas - Danielle Dax
  26. Santa Claus - Throwing Muses
  27. Holiday ID - Ofra Haza
  28. 2000 Years of Love - 54.40
  29. I Believe in Father Christmas - Honeymoon Suite
  30. Ways to Save Money at Christmas - Julie Brown
  31. Holiday ID - Peter Cetera
  32. Silent Night - Peter Cetera
  33. Holiday ID - Randy Travis
  34. How Do I Wrap My Heart Up for Christmas - Randy Travis
  35. Don't Drink and Drive, Duh - Pee Wee Herman
  36. Pee Wee Willbury ID - Pee Wee Herman
  37. Santa's Jet - Warner Bros. Promo
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Sunday, December 14, 2008

A Couple of Old Christmas Records

Here's a couple more shares to keep you in the Christmas spirit!

First off is one from Golden Tone Records, which was an Extreme Budget subsidiary of Precision Radiation Instruments, Inc. and was primarily used to re-release titles (usually abridged) from the Tops Records catalog. This record is by The International Choristers and features George Mather at the Mighty Console. It's got some interesting stuff on it.

The International Choristers featuring George Mather: Christmas Favorites
  1. Silent Night
  2. Deck the Halls
  3. Good King Wenceslaus
  4. Joy to the World
  5. It Came Upon a Midnight Clear
  6. Hark, the Herald Angels Sing
  7. The First Noel
  8. 'Twas the Night Before Christmas
  9. God Res Ye Merry, Gentlemen
  10. Away in a Manger
  11. O, Come All Ye Faithful
  12. Jingle Bells
Second is a collection from The Longines Symphonette Recording Society. The Symphonette Society was owned by the Longines watch company and was based in Larchmont, New York. They produced a syndicated radio program and manufactured their own albums of light classical and easy listening music through the 60s. The Longines Symphonette name was also used for a watch, a radio, a calculator, and a television? Go figure.

The Longines Symphonette: Silver Bells
  1. Silver Bells
  2. Scarlet Ribbons
  3. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
  4. Winter Wonderland
  5. One Little Tree
  6. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
  7. March of the Toys
  8. Away in a Manger
  9. Medley: I Saw Three Ships / We Wish You a Merry Christmas
  10. Medley: Wassail Song / Here We Come A-Wassailing
  11. Medley: It Came Upon a Midnight Clear / Good Christian Men Rejoice
  12. Silent Night

I've also listed all of the Christmas related posts from the past on The Tuna Melt. This ought to make it easy and keep folks from having to dig backwards into the archives to locate stuff...

Christmas Time... The Time for Giving...

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Friday, December 12, 2008

Sometimes the Holidays can be the Saddest Time of the Year...

Hope this doesn't bum anyone out too badly. This is the first paragraph from the report in today's Los Angeles Times.

"Bettie Page, the brunette pinup queen with a shoulder-length pageboy hairdo and kitschy bangs whose saucy photos helped usher in the sexual revolution of the 1960s, has died. She was 85."

The rest of the story, by Louis Sahagun, is posted HERE. There's also a statement posted on her official website at www.bettiepage.com.

Something tells me Bettie would still want us all to have a Merry Christmas...

We love ya, Bettie.
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Thursday, December 11, 2008

Various Artists: Christmas at KFC


We Wish You a Merry Christmas!
You want that in Original Recipe, or Extra Crispy?

Many of you silly earthlings are unaware that Christmas, being a Christian Holiday, is celebrated madly in Japan! It is not a National Holiday (nor should it be in a nation that is 84-96% Budhist/Shintoist) and, so, is not a "day off from work". The Japanese do, however, celebrate the purely secular aspects of the day (meaning… They Shop Like Crazy and Spend Lots of Money).

 Shopping Malls and Shopping Districts spend loads of ¥en on elaborate and beautiful displays. Shiny, sparkly lights shine and sparkle all over the place. And one American Corporation, in particular, has utilized the holiday as a marketing tool for years. Many Japanese are convinced that the typical American Christmas Dinner is provided by… Kentucky Fried Chicken!?!

Yep. That's Right. They begin weeks ahead of the actual day, placing orders for "Christmas Barrels". They also spend huge piles of cash on "Christmas Cakes" (sponge cakes, frosted with whipped cream and decorated, usually, with strawberries).

The KFC connection is, primarily, a result of the intense marketing campaigns of the old KFC Corporation and, now, Yum Brands. Most of the KFCs in Japan have near-lifesize statues of Colonel Sanders standing out in front of them and, around Christmas, they all get dressed in Santa Claus outfits.

I mention this only because I wish to point out that Kentucky Fried Chicken has been a huge promoter of Christmas for several decades now, as is evidenced by this post. Allow me, please, to present two fabulous Classic Christmas Recordings from 1966 and 1968 (respectively)…

  1. White Christmas - Jim Reeves
  2. God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen - The Anita Kerr Singers
  3. Silver Bells - Floyd Cramer
  4. Medley: Hark! The Herald Angels Sing / Good King Wenceslas -
    Hugo & Luigi with Their Children's Chorus
  5. O Come, All Ye Faithful - Chet Atkins
  6. Santa Claus is Comin' to Town - Skeeter Davis
  7. Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer - Hank Locklin
  8. I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day - Chet Atkins
  9. The Little Drummer Boy - The Norman Luboff Choir
  10. A Christmas Festival (Medley) - Arthur Fiedler and The Boston Pops
  1. I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day - Ed Ames
  2. Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town - The Norman Luboff Choir
  3. It Came Upon a Midnight Clear - Morton Gould and His Orchestra
  4. Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer - Al Hirt
  5. God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen - Chet Atkins
  6. The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire) -
    Henry Mancini and His Orchestra
  7. White Christmas - Lana Cantrell
  8. Medley: Away in a Manger / I Saw Three Ships -
    Hugo Winterhalter and His Orchestra and Chorus
  9. I'll Be Home for Christmas - Floyd Cramer
  10. Medley: Wassail Song / Deck the Halls with Boughs of Holly - The Robert Shaw Chorale
  11. Parade of the Wooden Soldiers - Arthur Fiedler and The Boston Pops
  12. Silent Night - Jim Reeves
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Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Robert Goulet: This Christmas I Spend with You


Bah! I'm Back!!!


Yep! Looks like that lazy, good for nothin' Traitor Vic has left ya hangin' up to this point during this Holiday season so, once again, good ol' Voldar comes swingin' by from Mars to get the job done right! What in the worlds would you idiot earthlings do without folks like me? Huh?

You will note, too, that I have completely commandeered the Tuna Melt Blog for this season, adding my friend Secret-Santa's last.fm widgets in place of stupid, lazy Traitor Vic's in the sidebar. Take a bit of time to listen to his radio station if you'd like.

I am also adding an example of my own amazing acting prowess in a Music Video prepared by a puny earth-dude named SSPV999 and posted on your silly YouTube:


Bah! I Rock!

Now get this! This is a Classic! Released in 1963, it has spun on turntables and in 8-Track and Cassette players around the world since. Now you can hear it without using any of these arcane devices!

  1. This Christmas I Spend with You
  2. Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas
  3. December Time
  4. Let it Snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow!
  5. The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire)
  6. Silver Bells
  7. Winter Wonderland
  8. White Christmas
  9. O Holy Night (Cantique De Noel)
  10. Panis Angelicus
  11. Ave Maria
  12. O Come All Ye Faithful
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